My daughter’s letter to Santa

Something I wrote to teach my students about over-writing, or the need to write in an over-blown, over-professional, self-important manner. It poses as a daughter’s letter to Santa, with “help” from her parents, for a class assignment. Enjoy.

Dear Santa,
Pursuant to the agreements of our prior meeting on 9 December 2009, regarding, among other subjects, the status of my inclusion or not on your master document detailing all the juvenile members of our behaviorally upstanding citizenry, as well as the nature of the material objects of my desire therein received, resulting from my capitulation to the aforementioned agreements, I formally request complete and timely dispensement of said material objects in the hours leading up to the morning of 25 December 2009 in return for my overall and detailed compliance to your directives, including but not limited to succumbing to the instructions laid out by any and all figures of authority in my general proximity, consuming in complete, without resistance, the whole of all vegetable matter residing on my personal serving vessel during each dinner hour, and retiring peacefully to my sleeping quarters at the required time, having participated in the cleansing rituals there associated.

In return for your timely appearance with the appropriate load of merchandise, I agree to provide you with the traditional accoutrements of baked dessert goods and a lukewarm beverage originating from the bovine ilk. thank you once more for your own compliance in this matter. I look forward to hearing from you.



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